A Cork Gone Wild!

This is something that happened to my Dad many years ago in Michigan. He used to bartend at a popular restaurant/bar called The Lindenhoff in Bay City. One super busy night, someone came up to the bar and ordered a glass of champagne. In true bartender style, my Dad pulled off the foil and wire wrapper and proceeded to remove the cork. It must have been a loose one because right when he touched it, the cork popped off and went sailing across the room full of people enjoying their dinners! Since it was very crowded, he wasn't quite sure of where it landed and could only hope for the best. It WAS kinda' funny. A few minutes later, a rather disgruntled gentleman approached the bar. My Dad took one look and he just knew … The man was sporting a perfectly-shaped, red cork-bump right in the middle of his forehead. Yep, it hit him – square in the face. This began a chain reaction of laughter and onlookers started cracking up. Ultimately, the man had his steak on the house that night, AND a bottle of bubbly.

Champagne Facts from the Blondes:

• Champagne is a type of sparkling wine which is only grown in the French region of Champagne. America has its own version of Champagne as well, because of a loophole in the patent. However, American brands must mention the region they were produced in, on the bottle label.
  
  
• There are 49 million bubbles in a regular bottle of Champagne. Large bubbles are considered extremely unsightly and are not the mark of good quality Champagne. The tinier the bubble the better. (So size DOES matter!)
  
  
• Marilyn Monroe (the most amazing blonde) once filled up her tub with 350 bottles of Champagne and took a long, luxurious bath in it. It was said that she drank and breathed Champagne as if it were oxygen.
  
  
• A Nebuchadnezzar represents the largest quantity of a Champagne serving. One Nebuchadnezzar is equal to 20 bottles! A Magnum is equal to only two bottles while a Split equals one-forth of a bottle.
  
  
• Champagnes are synonymous with toasts, and a beautiful lady was acknowledged by everyone toasting to her and clanging their glasses. This is why she was known as the toast of the town, in the 1800s. (She was probably a Blonde!)
  

Paint By Chocolate

How does a blonde get the last drops of Hershey's syrup out of the squeeze bottle??

When I'm down to the last drop of anything in a squeeze bottle, I learned a good way to get it out using centrifical force (big words for a blonde). I stand in the middle of the kitchen floor and quickly spin my entire arm around causing the product to be forced toward the opening. I did this once with chocolate syrup, spinning my arm around and around until I heard my Mom scream, "What are you doing!!" When I stopped, I realized that the top had been left open and there were chocolate circles from the floor, to the wall, to the ceiling, to the other wall and back. It was a huge mess! Despite the effort I didn't get the last drop of chocolate - the walls did - but it didn't stop me from using the spinning technique. I just make sure the top is closed!

When Cherries Fly!

By Sharen Husa
(Brandi's Mom)

I spent quite a while making the most amazing cherry pie I could for my handsome husband. When the pie was finished baking and a had beautiful golden brown crust, I placed in on a sheet pan and set it near the window to cool. When my husband came home from work, I was excited to show him what I had accomplished so I rushed over to grab it. I snapped up the sheet pan with my cherry pie and whipped around with a big smile. As I did, the pie went flying off the sheet pan and, like a frisbee, sailed across the kitchen. Gooey cherries and crust streaked the kitchen floor and cabinets. Our mouths dropped and we just stood there looking at each other in disbelief. Looks like I'd have to bake a second cherry pie, and this time it would stay put on the counter for viewing!

... And I'm not even a blonde!

Devilish Eggs

The first "Blonde in the Kitchen" moment I can remember occurred when I was ten or eleven years old. The family was going over to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving dinner and I was making the deviled eggs. I followed the recipe I learned from my childhood and filled each egg cup with the delicious mixture. When it came time for the garnish, I looked through the spice cabinet and found the "red powder" for the tops. They looked great!

Later at Thanksgiving dinner, my Uncle Jake took one bite of my deviled eggs and almost fell out of his chair. They were HOT!!! He said, "What did you put in these?" It was at that moment I learned that I had accidentally sprinkled cayenne pepper on top instead of paprika! At the time, I didn't really know the difference. What?? It was red! Anyway, none were leftover so despite the added heat, the deviled eggs were the first appetizer to disappear!